JMJ: "Heyyy, I hope you're enjoyeeng Destination Flirtlands, everybody! And we have a lot of love letters here on my Love Boat! We have messages for zee numbers 2, 3—hey, zat's me!—, 6, 8—I'm goeeng to find out who wrote a love letter to Charlotte!—, 14, 18, 21, 22... 20,825, 20,831, 20,839..."
JMJ: "You spot zee deeference?"
JMJ: "I WANNA SEE YOU SWEAT! HYPER, HYPER!!!"
JMJ: "And eet's time for zee latest numbers! Will zee numbers 5, 10, 12, 20... 32.014, 32.015, and 32.021 please come and collect zeir love letters?"
The liquidation of Maurice could be excused by his age, but what will serve as an explanation for a Memorymoog miraculously sliding forth and eventually shoving Jean Michel into his own Laser Harp and cutting him into slices? FDM (where M stands for Mafia) is in for big problems...
What that bunch of muggles at FDM doesn't know, though, is that Jean Michel's son David inherited his grandfather's magic, and said grandfather is alive and kicking, and he's working as a sorcerer in his wife's new underground movement named La Résistance 7-13.
We all know that JMJ sold 12 million copies of Oxygène. Guess where 9 million went.
JMJ: "Hello everyone, and welcome to Jean Michel Jarre's Laser Hero Contest! Zee three worst contestants win copies of Téo & Téa! So, who's my first veect- I mean, voluntary?"
Charlotte Rampling (off-screen): "Jean Michel? It's time for your Gearaholics Anonymous meeting!"
JMJ: "Whuh? Someone stole zee Theremin right under my hands!"
JMJ: "Darnit, zey stole my breaz controller, too!"
"Cloudy.
Cloudy. Cloudy. Cloudy."
Emilie: "Now you can look into the mirror."
Jean Michel: "OH MY FREAKING.....!...."
Emilie: "C'mon! The people want to see your new style!"
Jean Michel: "Heh, no. No way! No..."
Jean Michel: "Now zat I look like myself again, I'll take you and your back to zee physiotherapist."
Emilie: "Ow..."
JMJ: "Tom Selleck called, he wants hees shirt back."
Jean Michel Science Theater 3000
Fiona Commins: "Jean Michel not having had any flyovers at his concerts since 1997 and Francis Dreyfus having bought a second-hand B-52 Stratofortress are completely unrelated."
Klaus Wowereit: "No, M. Jarre, you're too late, Christo has packed up and gone several years ago!"
JMJ: "Awwwwww..."
JMJ: "And now I'm goeeng to conquer Germany and leeberate eet from Kraftwerk's machine museec!"
JMJ: "Sorry, Mr. Buchla, but I'm already an EMS endorser as you can see."
Dominique Perrier: "You mean that Dominique Perrier guy mimed his own synthesizer solo? No way... 'Scuse me, I'm in a hurry, gotta go!"
JMJ (off-screen): "Hey, what are you doing here?"
EMS Synthi AKS: "What does it look like? I'm getting a tan!"
Unseen sign on CS80: "Property of Evangelos O. Papathanassiou"
Charlotte: "Say 'Cheeeeeeeze' to my new Nikon!"
Jean Michel: "Just how much did you pay for it?!"
Charlotte: "Less than you paid for your VCS3. You may sample it if you want."
(Making of Souvenir Of China)
JMJ: "I'm playeeng an eenstrument I don't like, I'm lookeeng like an eedeeot up here, zey won't even put our songs on zee soundtrack, and what for? To be told on zee set zat Charlotte Rampling turned down zee main role last meeneet!!?!"
JMJ: "I hope you know what you're doeeng zere, David!"
David Jarre: "Hang on, Dad, I'm working on it..."
Anne: *sighs* "He's doing that James Bond shtick again..."
JMJ: *swings his hips* "Huh. Huh. Yeah."
Fangirls: "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!1!!1!11!!!1!!"
JMJ: "Can you see me back zere? No? Zat's good, zen you must be zee lucky ones who can see zee lightshow on zee architecture!"
JMJ: "And eef you een ze first 1,014 rows turn around, you might spot my wife Charlotte showing off her new 1,200mm lens! Hey Charlotte!"
JMJ: "Skyscrapers? Okay, who's zee moron who eenstalled zee stage zee wrong way around?"
The newest lightshow gimmick: Jean Michel Jarre and Francis Rimbert are playing Pong during a concert.
The winner.
FR: "Claude is fixing your glasses right now, Jean Michel!"
JMJ: "He'd better hurry up!"
JMJ: "Roll over Beethoven, roll over Beethoven..."
Jean Michel Jarre, 1.7 seconds before Francis Rimbert turns on the wind machine.
DP: "I've got my own champagne brand now.
DOM PERRIER!!!!"
JMJ: "I am the Trac man, I am the Trac man, I am the walrus, coo coo ca choo..."
Martman: "Sheesh, I begin to understand why no-one's bought a ticket for this but me."
Francis Rimbert. Keyboards, synthesizers, and security.
Claude Samard. Keyboards, synthesizers, and roadie.
JMJ: "Five. Fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-five."
Koblenz, Germany, May 29, 2008, 12:14 AM.
JMJ: "Zat's what you get for playeeng een such a burg. Zey shut down zee publeec transeet before meednight. And you can't even get a cup of coffee anymore."
JMJ: "Emilie? Ees zat you?"
JMJ: "Yaw, this is JMJibit, welcome to a new issue of Pimp My Tour Bus!"
JMJ: "WANT!"
JMJ: "Cool, a Polivoks for sale..."
After Nightwatch and Daywatch comes Jarrewatch.
Jamie Jarrebowski is pre-ordering a White Russian at his favorite bowling range. Side fact: The writing on the bathrobe reads, "Dude."
TK: "Let's see when he finds out I've ripped off his music."
JMJ: "Let's see when he finds out I've given an anonymous hint to Interpol."
Stage hand: "Caught the CS-80?"
JMJ: "Yes, it's safe!"
Stage hand: "Okay, here comes the Mellotron!"
JMJ: "You mean you can make a plain MicroKorg sound like a Synthex? As een Laser Harp?"
Martman: "Yeppers." *hands over recipe hardcopy*
JMJ: "Okayyy, how deed you do eet..."
JMJ: "Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!..."
Anne: "Good, Jean Michel! Very good!"
Charlotte: "Why didn't he dance the Cossack Dance on stage when I took photographs of him?"
Michel Geiss: (off-screen) "Look what I invented! The ultimate successor for the Digisequencer! I call it the Tenori-On!"
JMJ: "I've seen eet somewhere before..."
Francis Rimbert: "Michel, when did you take your last look at the Yamaha website?"
Prolonged exposure to Waiting For Cousteau makes your left ear glow. This particular fan has been Waiting For Coust- I mean, Jarre way too long, methinks.
JMJ: "Eet was a pleasure to trade weez you, sir. Zee Eiffel tower ees yours now." *heads off to pre-order a Spectralis II*
JMJ spots an EMS synth at someone else's concert.
JMJ: "WANT! MUST HAVE!"
JMJ: "Look, no EMS!"
JMJ: "I swear, I don't know who slipped me zee rompler workstation!"
JMJ: I want YOU for BlahBlahCafé!
LOLJarre Part 3: "O HALP!"
JMJ: "Two years. Eet took zem TWO BLOODY YEARS to complete ONE Synthi AKS. Now eef I deedn't have zee same portrait painter as Dorian Gray..."
Martman
